Retsu and SoiFong play Jenkan
by Ikasury
Summary: Jen! Kan! Pon! Yes, the two female captains of soul-society play a silly children's game. Why? Because they can! But what is it they're betting and exactly how high can these stakes go? Silly Female-Bonding between Soul-Societies only female captains at the moment... notSlash.


**A/N:** i should be asleep, what with appointments and all tomorrow... today? whatever...

this is what happens when i have a funny idea and am actually determined to let it play out instead of go off to bed.  
..

sorry yuri-fangirls and boys, not slash :P

**Dis:** as always Titty's got this... me, just the idea...

ENJOY!

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Retsu and SoiFong play Jenkan…

"Alright, I'm raising the stakes," SoiFong growled, holding one hand out in a fist, "Kuchiki Byakuya!"

"Hmm," Unohana Retsu seemed to ponder this a moment, "That's not much for raising the stakes…"

"I will win this time!" the konoichi glowered at the healer.

There was _that_ smile on the medical shinigami's face, although at this angle it looked like more of a smirk, "So sure?"

A thin black brow on the konoichi twitched at the light taunt. Unohana may have the confidence of _years_ of experience on her, but she was feeling like the luck of youth was finally on her side. Her black eyes narrowed on her senior captain, "Definitely!"

That smile never wavered.

In a flourish the medical shinigami flicked her wrist gracefully, knocking back her long sleeves and held her hand out in a fist.

SoiFong merely frowned at the woman's unflappable poise, throwing out her own fist a few inches from the medic's.

In unison the both raised their fists.

"_Jen!"_ knock down.

"_Kan!_" raised and shake down again.

"_Pon!"_ both threw down their fists with perfect timing so neither could 'cheat' by catching the infinitesimally small second before the other.

SoiFong had 'rock', while Retsu had 'paper'.

"Aragh!" SoiFong grabbed her head, shaking her black hair out and fell back comically on the outer walk.

Unohana just kept smiling as she reached for her tea and took a sip, ever gracefully, "That's Hirako Shinji, Otoribashi Rojuro, Muguruma Kensei and Kuchiki Byakuya for me and…" she looked down at the konoichi who was holding her hands over her eyes, "No one so far for you…"

"Fuck!" the konoichi shouted before flinging herself back up into a disgruntled sitting position. she glared at the older woman, "Kyouraku Shunsui."

The tea cup halted in front of the elder female captain, her blue eyes darting to the side to look at her junior, "Are you sure?"

"We're running out of hot guys," SoiFong said with a grumbling pout.

Unohana hid her snicker well, setting the tea cup down, "There's always the lieutenants…" her eyes darted to her accomplice with mirth, enjoying the young woman's flair for theatrics whenever they played this game.

Not to disappoint, the konoichi shivered, "I would never demean myself to someone of a lower rank," that was the whole reason they played this game. They were the only female captains; they had to have standards somewhere.

The older woman shrugged lightly, closing her eyes, "There's a few that aren't below our standards," at the younger woman's continued glare she chuckled lightly, "Remember, in order to qualify as a captain they must have bankai, and a few lieutenants have attained such strength, or the equivalent."

SoiFong stuck her tongue out like she tasted something bad, "Madarame Ikkaku and Aburai Renji do _**NOT**_ count…" at the elegant woman's continued chuckle, she glared indignantly, "Are we going or what?"

"Hai, hai," Unohana waved her hand, turning to the younger woman, reaching out with her fist. When SoiFong copied her the woman's blue eyes looked at her seriously, "He's a complete letch…"

SoiFong's eye twitched and her fist shook, but otherwise she said nothing.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!_"

SoiFong had 'Rock' while Retsu had 'Paper'.

Again, the konoichi screamed in frustration. At this point she wasn't going to get any of the 'good-looking' captains.

Unohana chuckled demurely behind her hand again, for being a highly trained assassin SoiFong had absolutely no luck when playing games. As per her ritual of 'winning' she took a sip of tea while the younger woman rolled around on the floor lamenting her yet again loss, "five to zero," she eyed the younger woman around her tea cup, "Are you _sure_ you want to continue?"

Dark eyes glared up at the older woman, let it never be said SoiFong ever backed down from a challenge. Immediately she was sitting up again and had her fist out, ready to go again.

This piqued a brow on the healer's face, "No stakes?"

Those already narrow eyes narrowed further, "Your choice…"

The older woman smirked, setting down her cup, "Very well," she closed her eyes and folded her hands into her sleeves, thinking on who would be the next man to offer up for the divvy. A _slight_ smirk crossed her face as her eyes open and she turned to her junior, "Tousen Kaname…"

SoiFong's brow twitched as she openly gawked at her senior, "You can't be serious?"

The older woman only shrugged, holding out her fist, "Former Captain, still counts…"

With her other hand the konoichi flexed it and grit her teeth.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!"_

SoiFong had 'Scissors' while Retsu had 'Rock'.

"You threw that one," the healer said in a _slightly_ lower tone.

The konoichi shrugged, crossing her arms, "Seemed appropriate, Healer meets blind guy, works…"

Unohana raised a thin brow, "Oh," she had a mischievous smirk that made SoiFong uncomfortable, "And here I was throwing out another Assassin, figured you'd appreciate that…"

"Damnit!" back to rolling on the ground.

Sips tea.

SoiFong sat up straight, fist out and glaring at the older woman, "No more former Captains…"

The woman's smirk was back as she set her cup down, "Aw, you don't want to try Ichimaru Gin?"

Black eyes narrowed, "Not with a hundred foot poll…"

The older woman closed her eyes and shrugged, "Well that throws out the rest of the Vizard former captains too," her eyes opened just slightly with a glint of challenge in them to the junior woman.

SoiFong fidgeted, former captains would also include Yoruichi-sama since they didn't specify gender, just 'other captains'… but that might also mean Urahara Kisuke. She shook her head adamantly, none of the former-captain Vizard particularily appealed to her and then there was Aizen Sousuke. "Hell no…"

Unohana smirked in a way that seemed to suggest she knew _exactly_ what the younger konoichi was thinking, "Fine, fine," again she had that serene look about her, considering who was left from their stock, "Hmm… Ukitake Juushiro?"

The konoichi frowned slightly. While yes, she would give Ukitake his credit as a bishi the whole 'being sick all the time' kinda turned that down. She looked the Unohana in the eyes, "You know how that one would go…"

"Healer and the perpetual patient?" there was a light mocking lilt in her voice, about as cocky as the woman ever sounded but it let the other woman know she found the concept funny none the less. With her free hand the healer tapped her chin, "Hmm?" she thought about it for a moment before another smirk lite up her eyes, "Hitsugaya Toshiro…"

SoiFong nearly fell off the outer-walk.

Unohana giggled nonetheless.

After correcting herself the konoichi glared at the healer, "Have you ever heard the concept 'robbing the cradle'?"

There was a definite smirk on the older woman's lips, "My dear when you're my age, _**everyone**_ is younger then you, no need to be picky about a few centuries."

SoiFong visibly twitched.

"Besides," that smirk never left the normally so aloof healer's lips, "Wouldn't it be better to divvy him between us before Matsumoto decides she's a shotacon?"

"Oh _**hell**_ no!" there was suddenly a fire in the konoichi's eyes as she grinned viciously, "Only to wipe the smirk off that big-breasted woman's face!"

Unohana chuckled. She was far too old to care about things like 'size' anymore, but it seemed SoiFong was still young enough to be competitive; it was refreshing watching the stoic woman get all fired up over something so silly. She held out her fist.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!"_

Of course, Retsu won.

"Mother-Fucker!" SoiFong was back to sprawling and spewing out all manner of curses.

Unohana chuckled to herself, "Seems age wins yet again…" sips tea.

There was a growl as SoiFong sat back up on her knees, glaring at her overly calm opponent, "Four left," Retsu glanced at the woman sidelong from her statement, "Time to bring out the big guns!" the konoichi thrust out her fist forcefully, "Genryuusei Yamamoto Shigekuni!"

For once it seemed Retsu was the one to shutter, if significantly down played. Setting her tea cup down the healer looked at the younger woman with a barely quirked brow, "Are you sure you want to play that?"

Those thin black eyes just narrowed on the older woman.

The captain of fourth squad sighed, "I honestly want nothing to do with the man, despite my age I much prefer someone younger," she waved her hand as if refusing to bother with this one.

SoiFong grinned, "I wasn't saying this was one to see who 'gets' him," that caught the healer's attention, "more like who _**doesn't**_ get him…"

The healer's eyes became sharp, as she threw out her fist, "Prepare to lose…"

"Tsk, tsk," the konoichi wiggled her finger, "Same rules apply, winner gets."

The older woman glared, "So this time it's a matter of wanting to lose?"

The konoichi grinned sinisterly; with her luck she had this one in the bag.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!_"

SoiFong had 'paper' and Retsu had 'rock'.

SoiFong had to blink, and stare at their hands again, "No. Fucking. Way."

"Oh dear, it seems I lost," she was _not_ chuckling into her hand with an evil smirk on her serene face.

"Argh!" the konoichi threw up her hands, "Why!"

The smirk continued, "Have fun robbing the grave…"

Black eyes just glared at the serene healer as she sipped her tea again, "You are evil..."

The smirk still didn't leave the older woman's eyes.

The smaller woman just narrowed her eyes, "You threw that…"

"I thought that was the idea?" she set her cup down, finally out of tea.

SoiFong's fingers were flexing in an irritated manner, "But he's like _centuries_ older than I am… and looks old!"

Unohana refilled a glass and set it in front of the fuming konoichi, "You're the one that brought him up…"

The younger woman glared, glanced down at the tea and went back to glaring at the older woman, "I'd hoped you'd get him…"

The medical shinigami smirked, "You just need to learn how to play the game," she took her refilled glass and blew on it to cool it down; "Even Yoruichi knew not to throw down the Captain-Commander."

Head in hand SoiFong groaned. She knew she was 'young' by all of the captain's standards, hell the only captain younger than her was probably Hitsugaya, she hadn't had the chance to find out yet, but that just made her feel like a child. Before her Yoruichi had been the sole-other female captain for a long time, while Unohana seemed to be a permanent fixture in fourth division for centuries.

"May, may," Unohana waved her hand jovially, "it reminds me of Kirio, she used to throw out the most random people," the older woman kept chuckling when the younger captain looked up at her curiously, "Still never tried the old man though, hmhm."

SoiFong sighed, giving up. She stared at the tea in front of her. Fidgeting she glanced at the older woman, "How many others have you played this game with?"

"Hmm?" the medical captain tapped her chin, "before Kirio got promoted to Squad Zero, she and I enjoyed it quite a bit," she took a sip of her tea closing her eyes in memory of an old friend, "for the longest time I was the only female captain so there was no reason for the game, but when Kirio became captain we started playing on a whim," she set the tea cup down, "Of course between the two of us it involved bottles of sake and anyone she could think of, she had a penchant for throwing out Shunsui and Juushiro as her 'last bets', often both at once…"

The younger captain blushed at the implication.

Unohana looked over at the younger girl with a kind smile, "Yoruichi was the one that suggest the game 'standard' be Jenkan, and the only time she stepped out of the 'captains-only' rule _**she**_ imposed was for Urahara Kisuke…"

A black brow on the konoichi twitched at the mention of the man.

The elder woman smirked, "Well, she also had a tendency to break her own rule for any 'new competition'," she sipped her tea again, "And was completely shameless about throwing up people like Yadomaru Lisa and yourself…"

SoiFong nearly fell over.

"Suffice it to say, Kirio and I let her win those ones," the older woman chuckled, "Though I have to say she was worse than you when it came to winning, so I think she did it on purpose just to 'win' someone…"

The younger konoichi was red in the face and quickly grabbed her neglected tea and drank it down, _wishing_ it was sake at this point.

Unohana was still chuckling demurely as she set her cup down and folded her hands into her sleeves, "I wonder if it's just second squads curse?"

SoiFong tried hard not to snort her tea.

Unohana turned that charming smile of hers on the junior woman, "So are we done for today, or do you wish to continue?"

SoiFong closed her eyes and set her tea cup down, "Still three left."

The healer's smile softened, "Still willing to brave it?"

The younger konoichi blushed lightly but only nodded.

"Good," in a light flourish Unohana removed her hands from her sleeves and held out her fist again, "Would you like to '_bend_' the rules a little? Add someone else to the pot?"

A black brow on the konoich twitched, "No," she shook her head, "I think this is all I can handle…"

The older woman smiled sincerely, "See, already learning…"

Dark eyes glared at the older woman, as she held out her hand, "Zaraki Kenpachi."

A hard edge entered the older woman's blue eyes, "Are you sure?"

With a light embarrassed blush the konoichi nodded, "Monster on the battlefield means lots of stamina…"

"You have no idea," there was so a chuckle in the older woman's voice, too bad she didn't give SoiFong the chance to so much as question it.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!_"

SoiFong had 'rock' while Retsu had 'rock'.

They tied?

SoiFong's brow went up first, then she looked at the older woman, "Are you glaring?"

"No," was her clam, quick response.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!_"

They tied again.

SoiFong smirked because Unohana was _definitely_ glaring, "Are you sure?"

Those blue eyes tore into the younger woman and she was suddenly reminded why everyone feared the woman.

SoiFong did not 'eep!', but her eyes definitely went back to their fists and quickly went with the next round.

"_Jen, Kan, PON!_"

'Scissors' trampled by 'rock', Retsu won.

"Yes!" the medic may or may not have been pumping her fists. Then she felt the younger woman's eyes on her. She coughed, slipped her hands into her sleeves and looked just as serene as she normally while looking pointedly _away_ from SoiFong.

SoiFong was staring, mouth wide open.

A _little_ bit of color may or may not have found its way on the older woman's face when she glanced at the konoichi who looked decidedly shell-shocked. Feeling ruffled, she mumbled, "It's not what you think…"

"And what is that?" SoiFong's voice may or may not have come out slightly higher than normal, still staring at the woman.

The older woman just closed her eyes and sighed, taking a moment to center herself, then nodded, "When you've done as many examinations as I have in my life you get to see what others do not…"

Now the konoichi was point accusingly at her, "You _abuse_ your position to look at guys!"

Retsu looked away, ignoring the accusation.

Black eyes narrowed, "Wait," her hand lowered, "What is it about Kenpachi that makes him worth 'winning'?" her head tilted, "Especially when comparing him to all the 'hot guys' from earlier?"

Against her will a smirk pulled at the older medic's lips, "Trust me, it's worth it," then she was openly grinning like a schoolgirl and fanning herself dramatically, "Plus all those battle scars…"

SoiFong's jaw dropped. She couldn't mean, that he, his… "You mean…"

Unohana nodded.

Thin black brow quirked, "Bigger than the rest?"

The medic nodded again, smirk widening.

"Hmm," the konoichi mused, "and I thought all that battle-whining and his big sword were compensating for something…"

"Definitely not," Unohana grabbed her tea, feeling her grinning was getting out of hand and tried covering up with a sip.

Dark eyes glared, "evil."

The older woman shrugged, "Experience beats luck…"

"Argh," SoiFong scratched ran a hand through her bangs, "two left," she frowned lowering her hand, "Your pick…"

Unohana's charming smile seemed to return, now that they were _away_ from the berserker captain and his adequacies. Setting down her tea cup she turned to the younger woman, holding out her fist, "Komamura Sajin."

The konoichi looked at the older woman with a slight frown, "I'm going to lose this one aren't I?"

The healer shrugged, "Why don't you find out."

Begrudgingly the konoichi held out her fist.

"_Jen, Kan, Pon!"_

SoiFong blinked.

'Paper' beat 'rock', she won?

"What?" she looked at their hands skeptically.

"Hmm?" the older woman looked just as perplexed, if slightly amused. She shrugged, taking her tea and having a sip like she normally did.

The konoichi glared at her skeptically, "You _let_ me win, didn't you?"

Again the healer shrugged, "What makes you think that?"

Dark eyes still narrowed on the older woman, "You _always_ win?"

Blue eyes looked at the smaller woman innocently, "Perhaps you're luck's turning around," she waved her hand nonchalantly.

Still not convinced, SoiFong crossed her arms frowning, "Why would you _let_ me have Komamura?"

The healer blinked a minute, lowering her tea, "I'm allergic to dogs?"

Dark eyes narrowed more, "That's a lie."

The older woman shrugged again, closing her eyes and raising her tea cup, "Sounded good," and took a sip.

A _slight_ amount of red passed over the younger woman's cheeks that she refused to acknowledge, "Why?"

Unohana's shoulders slumped, lowering her tea cup she looked at the younger woman, "Why does finally winning bother you so much?"

Those dark eyes turned away.

A well-manicured eyebrow rose on the older woman's features, "Oh?"

They turned back quick as daggers, "It's not what you think!"

The older woman laughed into her hand.

Again, SoiFong looked away. Despite her crossed arms one of her hands clinched and unclenched as red started across her face again, "I like fur…"

Still the older woman chuckled, but not in a condescending way. When she lowered her hand and all giggles had worn out, her serene blue eyes looked up at the changing colors of the sky, "I can say the same about battle-scars…"

SoiFong's eyes turned back with a quirked brow, "Really?"

The older woman merely closed her eyes and shrugged with a serene smile.

"Tch," the konoichi leaned back, arms crossed behind her head as she laid out on the outer walk.

Everything was quiet for a moment, just the warm breeze hitting the wind-chimes as the sun started setting over Seireitei.

"There's still one left," Unohana turned back to her guest with a coy smile.

Again SoiFong stuck out her tongue like she tasted something back, "Kurotsuchi Mayuri," she shuttered, "Pass…"

This garnered another lighthearted laugh from the fourth squad captain.

The wind-chimes blew.

Unohana looked up at the sound, "Well I guess that's it," she laughed more, "Eleven for me, two for you, and Mayuri," when she looked back the lounging konoichi was yet again sticking her tongue out disgusted. The older woman smiled, "That's better than last time at least…"

SoiFong looked away with a light embarrassed blush on her cheeks, "Yea, only you _let_ me win those two…"

The older woman shook her head, "That's a luck all its own," her eyes trailed to the slowly changing sky, "No matter how experience, or how well we plan, nothing is certain," she looked back at the younger woman with a smirk, "You should know that by now…"

The konoichi pouted but conceded to the logic.

Unohana shook her head, oh the young. Taking one last sip of her tea she set the empty cup down on the tray, gathering SoiFong's neglected cup, and stood up, "Now, if you don't mind I have some more tea to make."

A dark brow rose on the konoichi's forehead, as she propped her head up just enough to watch the older woman leave, "Are you _asking _me to leave?"

The older woman turned back just the slightest with her charming smile back in place, "Perhaps."

The konoichi's brow rose higher, "Expecting company?"

If SoiFong didn't know any better she would have sworn the woman's smile grew slightly, "Now why would you ask that?"

Sitting up the konoichi stared at her and pointed at the tray in her hand, "Making more tea?"

That charming smile never ceased.

Sighing deeply, the konoichi shrugged, hopped to her feet and stretched, "Next week?"

"As always," Unohana was already heading back inside her home, already dismissing the konoichi.

SoiFong frowned for a moment as she watched the sliding door close, then shrugged and shunpo'd out of sight. It wasn't her business what her fellow female captain did in her spare time.

Besides she had next week's game to pry it out of her anyway.

* * *

**A/N:** before anyone asks, Kirio is a real character, she was the captain of twelfth squad before Urahara, makes you think about it doesn't it? nothing's said about the woman other then she existed and got promoted to 'squad zero', but i figured her and Unohana must have been buds, being female captains and all...

plus Yoruichi... being Yoruichi...

i'm always curious what the interaction between the female captains must be like, there's only two of them (three at most?) and while they have the SWA with all the lieutenants, its not like they could really relate to them like they could each other...

plus we all know they have all those 'guys' defending them its irritating, Shunsui and Juushiro always give me the vibe of acting like Unohana's protective 'younger' brothers XD while with SoiFong if anyone's going to defend her they'd better keep it to themselves else she'd beat them up like her lieutenant...

so why not, female bonding and all XD besides with the age difference, i'm sure Unohana's got a LOT to teach SoiFong XD

and well i shamelessly ship Koma/Soi any chance i get, with Uno/Pachi being a close runner up... at least IN-universe :3

Comments, Questions, and all that fun~

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


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